I use writing to touch what is deepest inside; to touch, contact, heal, feel, open to the jewel, the pearl, the wisdom I carry. The Circle of Stones by Judith Duerk pointed again to the wisdom of this process, but a pointer only. Anais Nin, "And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." pointing again to this process of opening. Such beauty moves in and thru me. I am scared, and excited and joy filled.
I’m in the process of birthing something and I am not clear yet what it is. I can talk about it in circles, outlining the shape, delineating the boundaries but still unable to see what it is. It has to do with feminine divinity, not femininity but divinity. Something is moving. The deep awareness is stirring. The source of women’s deep knowing, wisdom, power and intuition. Samah said we trade off something for our place in the hierarchical man’s world. So true. But it is time to once again to acknowledge and connect with our deep knowing, if only as women, if only in ourselves, to know it again and to have always known it.
Everything in my life conspires to keep this from coming out. My arm aches as I write. I can hardly maintain the movement of my pen across the page. My breathing is compromised; my speaking voice is diminished, my eyes have difficulty seeing the words on the page, my arms struggle to hold a book high enough to read. I am getting old—or older. Is it too late to attempt this? Too late to train for the marathon? The Beauty within affirms that all of this is in God’s perfect timing. There is nothing I have to prove. Just step forward. Step out.
The Dalai Lama said the world will be save by Western women. He said we need more effort to promote human values – human compassion, human affection. And in that respect, females have more sensitivity for others’ pain and suffering.
There is a wisdom that women carry, that each of us carries, but that women have access to more readily. Their focus is on process not product, co-creation rather than competition. There is a need for this change in the world order, as our current trajectory points to collapse of societal structures, death and decay. But there is an enlivening taking place inside our hearts and souls, a longing that begs for fulfillment. That longing is for a deeper wisdom, a deeper connection to what is essential, to our own essence.
As the drop becomes the ocean, so the soul becomes deified, losing her name and work, but not her essence. Meister Eckhart
In a recent teleconference, Dr. Jean Houston remarked that “millions of people right now are experiencing this same yearning. It is a surging of the human spirit, a virtual global awakening, at a scale no one has ever seen before.” This wisdom has been locked inside for centuries as the patriarchal model pushed women’s knowing deep inside. But it is time, the pendulum is clearly swinging back. It is time for that longing to be heard, expressed and brought to light—to be given birth. And in doing so, solutions, possibilities that are not obvious now in our present state of constriction will open and come to light. And our next steps will become evident. Without these next steps, there is little hope for the continuation of this beautiful experiment called life on Earth.
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I felt you move by me, come closer and enter. I looked askance. What am I fearing? The healing today showing me again your perfection, the perfection of me, of you in me, of me. Not so that I can take credit; just so I can acknowledge and speak from that. There is a huge presence, almost a wind blowing at my back, pushing me, pulling me into the world, kicking and screaming. Help me let go. You are. This is your way, the way. Open/let go/ step thru. I am certain the way is clear. I am so excited by the prospect of seeing what you would have me be. So excited to see what you would have me see. I am so happy, so scared, so excited. So thrilled. Oh boy! What a ride. What a beautiful ride.
