Only God is Perfect

Just finished the Colorado Cleanse--14 days of intense work to buy, prepare and eat a variety of veggies, soups, khichadi, ghee and occasional light protein, culminating on day eleven with a castor oil purge and then winding down to the finish line on day fourteen.  I have never worked so hard with so little energy.  It has been surprising and somewhat disconcerting as both John and I felt like walking zombies throughout the cleanse unable to maintain even a half day of work, much less a full day.

During the cleanse I began to notice my tendency towards perfectionism.  The cleanse material described the emotional component of the cleanse process.  Old emotions get stored in the fat cells in our bodies so as we begin to burn fat, these stored toxins are released and our mood can reflect these old emotions.  I began to think it was my husband's tendency to perfection I saw but then older emotions associated with my father's perfectionism showed up. Finally I realized these tendencies were deeply rooted in me, in my own need to be perfect.  Over the two-week cleanse I got a clear look into my need to get it right, get it done, to be perfect. As I finished each task, it seemed I noticed something I had missed or a sequence I did not do according to the directions. As I picked up the last few crumbs from the floor, those I had missed with the broom, I remembered my dad and his focus on those small imperfections while ignoring the glaring obstruction of his then untreated alcoholism.  Even when he got sober, it was the detail, the tiny crumb that got his attention and in this behavior I saw myself.  I am not aware of what I don't see about myself that really needs my attention.  As long as I think I can make it perfect, I don' have to look. But now I am aware when I reach for that tiny crumb on the floor or the smudge on the edge of a glass that I am the perfect imperfection in God's creation and release that particular tension into the universe.  And maybe, just maybe, one day I will find the Perfection I seek.